A simple way to be happy
Turns out it's not that hard.
Whenever my close friend is passionate about something, I involuntarily become an “accomplice” of his idea.
For four years, my friend practiced what she called the “planning method." The essence of the method is that planning an action (or simply analyzing one’s forces to perform a given action) fundamentally changes the nature of your actions. “If you are not planning, it’s easier for you to ignore it,” she explained.
Her idea hit my head so much that I decided to include it in my list of "Secrets of adult life", wrote down: "I can cope with everything that I plan." If I want to bring something to my life, I must identify a way to achieve the goal - literally mathematically calculate.
I have material evidence of this. As part of my project “Happiness”, I keep statistics of all my decisions: every day I record things that I did or not. And I found that it is much easier for me to stick to the plan and achieve something if I set myself such a task and thought out a plan for its implementation. Fine, but too general decisions, such as, for example, “finding more joy in life”, are extremely difficult to implement. They are much more difficult to adhere to, which cannot be said of simpler ones, for example: spending time with a friend once a week or not checking mail while communicating with family. It is impossible to determine the level of joy in life, but it is possible to calculate how many times in a month I saw my best friend, and that is why I feel happy.
We must plan this!
I’m a complete workaholic and recently realized that if I don’t plan any things, then they simply do not exist for me. Allocate time for games with children ... It would seem that it could be easier? But, if I do not add this item to my schedule and do not write it in the list of solutions, then I will not do it!
However, one day I realized that for a long time I spent time mainly with my youngest daughter, while the elder’s schedule became so tight that there was no possibility to be alone with her. A one-on-one communication is very important to me.
Therefore, in order to strengthen our relationship with her, I decided that we would arrange weekly family walks. Now once a week I meet my eldest daughter after school, and we go for a walk along the promenade or to the museum. How to have a great time without distractions! Once a week may seem insufficient, but even so, the difference is already felt!
Pros and cons
Not everyone will agree that it is important to plan your classes. I often hear from some people that calculation kills spontaneity and makes it work more on quantity than quality. “If you count your actions every time,” they argue with me, “you cannot plunge into the process. Isn’t it better to enjoy, for example, your birthday instead of taking out a camera and trying to capture every scene? ”
Good question - we always want to be as involved in what is happening as possible, to get the maximum experience from people and events. But I am sure that planning can lead us to our cherished goal. How can you fully enjoy the holiday if you do not take time before the party to develop decorations, treats and games? How will you rejoice at the clouds passing by if you do not look into the sky and do not go outside at all in the afternoon?
Planning allows me to control the situation so that things that are truly important to me do not turn aside.
Take at least a reading. In fact, this is my favorite pastime. To be completely honest, this is one of the few activities that I really enjoy. For a long time I was convinced that I took the time to read. But, unfortunately, the books constantly fell out of my schedule until I added “reading time” to my to-do list. Now I plan time for reading - and not only for work, but also for reading children's literature, re-reading my favorite works
... playing the piano. Bicycle rides. Exotic journey. Is there something you always don't have enough time for, but would you really like to do this? If yes, then try the following: find a suitable way for you to achieve what you want and start implementing the plan!
When planning classes, you give yourself the opportunity to really start to do what you like, and slowly but surely move towards your goal. Good luck
Mini interview about happiness
Nilofer Merchant, author of the popular book "11 Rules of Creation"
Gretchen Rubin: What activities are guaranteed to give you joy? Nilofer Merchant: To drink coffee from my favorite mug with the inscription: “Wonder Woman”. It was a comic present from my adopted daughter. Now it has become a ritual. We are all much wiser and stronger than we think. We are all Wonder Women.
GR: What is stopping your happiness? NM: A large number of obligations. When I sleep little, travel a lot, but at the same time I eat poorly and don’t go in for sports (because I agreed to a million meetings and took on a lot of projects), I begin to feel tired, irritable and ... lonely. And I begin to look at the world through the prism of discontent. Alas, I often take on too much because of fear that if I refuse now, I will miss the opportunity, although in reality I need to say, “Thank you, but no,” and wait.
GR: Do you have a “spell” to cause happiness? Some kind of phrase that helps? NM: There is. “If the sound of friction annoys you, how can you be polished?” This is from Rumi. (Rumi - Sufi poet - Approx. Ed.) And this statement serves as a reminder to me that any difficulty can become an assistant in finding happiness.
GR: When you fall into melancholy, what helps you get out of it? NM: I have a box in which I put things that are important to me, CDs with my favorite films, for example, Erin Brockovich. The "artifacts" from this box give me strength.